


wait

by natjfk



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Gangs, Gay, M/M, Suspense, bxb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:22:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natjfk/pseuds/natjfk
Summary: Tyler Joseph moved to the inner city of San Francisco for his photography career. It means everything to him. Tyler's mind slowly spirals down to a state of confusion, desire, and hate. He didn't know he'd get involved with such vulgar people through the person he loved. It broke him.





	1. Chapter 1

August 20, 2017

 

4:17 pm

My eyes were still puffy from crying earlier today it's not a big of a deal I just brushed it off and put a smile on my face. I ran to the gate as fast as I could."Flight 247 to San Francisco will be boarding in a few minutes," the announcement blared through the halls of the airport.

 

I made it to the gate. People were already lining up. I sat down by one of the chairs near the doors. I had everything ready to go, my passport, my ticket, my small worn suitcase, and my camera. My mom had bought me a new camera after my graduation she said I'd be nice to have an new one for the new school year, she also asked to take some nice pictures of the city for her. I already miss her. It was a new beginning for me, I never really thought that I would make it to this point but I guess I did.

 

The lady at the desk called for zone 3 to start loading. I looked at my phone 4:34pm. I didn't really know what I was doing with my life, one day I'm finishing high school and the next day my mother is sending me off to San Francisco to engagein my photography scholarship. I didn't really mind, I love photography I just didn't expect her to accept my career. I looked down at my phone.

1 message: Billie

'hey just saying that you're room is all set and ready for you !!!!! can't wait to see you. i'll pick you up at the airport don't bother calling a cab :)) ilysm <3'

I smile shoving my phone back in my pocket and standing up, griping my passport in my hand and dragging my suitcase behind me. The lady at the desk called for zone 4 to start lining up. I handed her my passport to check, the she scanned my ticket and handed them back to me. "Have a safe trip, next" she smiled at me and  carried onto the next person. 6 hours in a plane can't be that bad.

 

10:48pm

I landed safely, grabbed my stuff and headed out to the entrance. Billie said she'd be there to pick me up. She's a great friend of mine, I met her online while looking for roommates to stay with. We have been talking non stop for a month now, she is one of the greatest friends I have.

The cool air outside blew on my side, the sun gone leaving the city lights to light up the world around it self. I looked around looking for a silver haired girl, all I could see are families, couples, business men and women waiting to catch a cab. I checked my phone, no new messages. I texted her.

you: 'Hey, i made it here safely, you still picking me up??'

I held my phone in my hand for a second waiting for a response. A few seconds later bubble popped up on the screen.

billie:'YESSSS of course! be there in a sec'

I look up turning off my phone and held it in my hand. I waited a few minutes until I saw a glimpse of silver hair. I smiled and started to walk towards her. She looked right at me and her face lit up. She ran towards me, hugging me in surprise. I hugged back letting a sigh of relief. "Oh my fucking god Tyler it's really you !?" She screamed in excitement. I laughed softly resting my chin on her shoulder. 

"Yes, it's really me!" I chuckled letting go of her.

"Come on, the car is around the corner," Billie waved at the direction of her car. I followed pulling the suitcase behind me. We got into the car and started driving over to Billie's apartment soon to be mine too.

11:25pm

"Welcome to the wonderful home of ours," Billie smiled widely and closed the door behind her. The apartment smelled of chocolate mint candles and a hint of vanilla. It was warm and surprisingly welcoming. Light from the streets shimmered through onto the dark hard wood floors from the wide window that sat on far wall facing the view of downtown.

"Wow." I breathed, letting go ofthe breath I didn't know I was holding. "This is better than the pictures online," I laughed. I set my stuff onto the side. I walked into the kitchen where Billie was leaning on the counter with a glass of water in her hand.

"There's glasses in the cup board next to the fridge, utensils are in the drawer next to the stove and I have some snacks and cereal in one of these cabinets there." She showed me around the rest of the apartment, it's bigger than i thought it would be probably because it was half empty. We circled back to the kitchen where she offered some coffee. This late?

"No, I'm fine I'll have some tomorrow, I just want to unpack and settle in first," I smiled, tapping my fingers on the counter.

"Well, go get started I'm just going to go out for a while I'll be back soon don't worry too much," She laughed softly and left, leaving me in silence in an empty apartment. I shuffled through the hallway leading to the two rooms. The door was wide open for one of them, I took a look inside and decided it was supposed to be mine. The mattress was against the wall facing a small window, there was a little desk next to it with a orange chair sitting awkwardly to the side. There was a soft sweet smell of vanilla, reminds me of someone I loved. The room wasn't small or too big. I liked it.

I lazily picked up my suitcase and placed it on my bed and started to unpack. I didn't pack much because I didn't have anything in the first place. Two black skinny jeans, one yellow hoodie, a few white Ts and I was done packing. I was already wearing the only pairs of shoes I owned. It was pretty late and I started to feel sleepy from all this traveling. I sat on my bed staring at the white ceiling, My phone started to ring, the alerting sound woke me from my trance. I fiddled through my pockets and reached for my phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Tyler! Are you home safe? I wanted to call if you were okay," My mother's soft voice spoke from the other end.

"Hey mom, yes I'm safe,"

"We already miss you so much," she said sincerely with a soft sob. I doubt anyone missed me, no one liked me back home. I was a shame to the family.

"Mom, please don't cry, I'm coming backfor christmas which is not far from now," I smiled to the phone holding back my tears. I felt like crying because she was going to cry. I didn't even feel homesick.

"Yes, of course. It's getting late honey, you start university this week so catch up on some sleep you've lost during the summer," she said tiredly.

"Goodnight mom,"

"Goodnight baby," I can here her smile through the phone.

I ended the call and fell back onto my bed. The empty apartment was left silent. The only noise was the buzzing of the air conditioning taunting the rooms. This whole day felt unreal, like a dream.

 


	2. Rainy Pier

September 1, 2017

6:30am

The sun was starting to rise over the horizon. I laid in my bed for about ten minutes until I gathered myself to get ready. I didn't know what to expect today, it's not like I haven't experienced a huge change before. High school was probably worse than what this could feel like. Orientation started at 7:30 I didn't want to go, I didn't want to put up with awkwardly walking with a bunch of other people who don't know what the fuck they're doing following the tour guides like ducklings. I got up got dressed, I grabbed everything I needed.

 

Billie was already up making a mess in the kitchen. She was startled by my presence. "Bro, you got to chill out on ghosting my dude." I chuckled at that.

 

"I'm sorry, I'll be out in a bit for orientation." I apologize pursing my lip. I sat on the small stool on the other side of the island. She was making pancakes, at least that's what it looked like. "What's the special occasion?" I smirked at her wiggling my eyebrows.

 

"What? I cant have some fucking pancakes in the morning for no reason?" She laughed at my comment.

 

"I've never in my life seen someone make pancakes for fun at six in the morning," I smiled in disbelief.

 

"You're missing out man,"

 

"I must be, don't mind leaving some for me." I slid out of the stool jiggling my keys in my hand out of boredom. "I'm heading out now, have fun cleaning your pancake mess." I laughed at her, walking out the apartment and locking the door.

 

 

7:15am

The loud fuss in the room made me anxious. Everyone was huddled with their parents or friends. I was standing next to this booth about Weston's sports. I never understood why this art school has sports teams but I guess art kids might like sports too. The actual tour started at 7:30, I should have stayed at the apartment a while longer. Now i'm starting to regret not eating.

 

I looked around apprehensively. There were a bunch of booths about extracurricular activities and clubs. There was this one booth that caught my eye. I may not have played this game since tenth grade but why not check it out. The bulletin board behind the set up table read 'Mario Kart Club'; all the mario kart characters spread across it. I really missed this game, I used to play it all the time on my Game boy until I got a DS and started to get into other games.

 

The booth was small, not decorated as much as the other ones around. The small foldable table held pamphlets and just a few colourful balloons were scattered here and there.With hands in my pocket, I walked up to the booth behind which a guy that couldn't be much older than me stood smiling. He was tall, with broad shoulders that looked strong beneath his green t-shirt. He noticed me coming over and his smile grew bigger.

 

"Hey, my name is josh. I see that you are interested in our club." His eyes lit up at me. The corners creased a little when he smiled. It was cute. I have to stop thinking every guy I meet is my future soulmate. Jenna always made fun of me because of that. Shit.

 

"Yeah, it seems so. What do you have in store for me." I rubbed my hands together expecting something fun and indulging.

 

"Well, all we technically do is play Mario Kart and skip boring classes for 'club purposes'. That's it." He laughed.

 

"Well, you've got me take my money."

 

"You're a funny one aren't you," The corners of his mouths turn up adorably. I felt a rush of heat crawl up my neck to my ears. Am I blushing? I willed myself to relax as I laughed at his comment nervously.The guy next to Josh gave him a look of playful disgust.

 

"Josh I told you to stop flirting with our new recruits," He slapped Josh's back. "My name is Samuel. Sam for short." He gave a wide smile while sticking out his hand for a shake.

 

"Hey," I replied, "My name is Tyler," I shook his hand. All this felt too awkward.

 

"So are you interested in joining our marvellous club? We meet every Thursday 1pm to 3pm in the computer Lab," Josh brought up, pointing at the small poster on the wall with the more detailed version of what Sam and Josh had just said.

 

"Yeah sure, I'll have to think about it depending on my classes," I chuckled. I made it seem as if I were to think about it, but I knew very well I was going to show up anyway.

 

"Right, guess we'll see you around then,"

 

"Yep," I shoved my hands back into my pocket, trying to shield myself from all this awkwardness in the air. Shit.

 

"We'll be expecting you Tyler," Sam said enthusiastically breaking the silence. Thank God.

 

"Yeah yeah, I won't let you down," I pointed at him while staring to walk away. I heard josh say something along the lines of 'you fucking bitch let me flirt' I laughed at that. Funny.

 

7:40am

We were half way done the tour, my feet were hurting from how much we've been standing. Yes, ten fucking minutes is a lot for me. The classes were huge, most of them were for lectures and small class assemblies. There were animation labs for the animation courses. Huge art classes with cabinets filled with art supplies. Construction labs for those taking carpentry. I loved the way the school was laid out. Neat simple. Not too many complicated hallways. They even had dog therapy rooms where people could take naps, hang out with dogs and shit, and as long as you stayed fairly quiet you wouldn't be kicked out. The school was huge and we had quite a ways to go.

 

Not a while after the tour was over I found my way to the main lobby again. I was tired off my ass after all that walking, aching for a chair. Thankfully there were a few couches near the entrance. I sat down huffing. I pulled my phone out. No new messages. I leaned back onto the couch stretching my arms up. I didn't know if I should explore the pier or if I should check out downtown. Mom did ask for some pictures. I stood up and headed off back to the apartment to put away my shit and grab my equipment to take some pictures for mom.

 

10:56am

After eating what Billie had left of this morning I scrolled through my phone for a bit. Every one back in Ohio seemed to be fine without me running the place. Especially Jenna, she seemed fine without me. Which hurt. A lot. She couldn't keep us long distance even if she really wanted too. She would end up cheating on me either way. I knew it. So I just broke it off. I kind of regretted that, even if it was for the best.

 

I shrugged away the thoughts about her. Slowly headed my way back into my room to grab my camera and head out to the harbour. It was cloudy outside which was unusual for San Francisco. I think. The apartment was a few blocks away from the pier. I got my stuff and headed out.

 

I shoved my hands into the pocket of my hoodie. There were rain clouds forming overhead, which was alarming since I left my umbrella at home. fuck.

 

I walked in a fairly fast passed to get to the pier earlier so I could be able to take the photos and leave. The streets were crowded as usual since it's Friday morning and people are hurrying off to work. Now that I get to think about it why would they hold orientation on a Friday? Weird.

 

The beach near the pier was completely deserted with just a few people here and there on a morning strolls. Most of them looked like locals and some looked like tourists on vacation. The wind was calming, kissing the depths of my skin. I walked for a while taking looks around. The camera hanging around my neck became heavy after half an hour of walking. I must have taken hundreds of photos by now, of the scenery, the waves, the sand beneath my feet, the shadows of the birds against the rotting wood of the pier. I feel the sound of the distant thunder shaking my feet. It was about to rain. Shit!

 

I knew it wasn't going to start to rain for another few minutes, walking back home would be a waste I'll get wet either way. I rather stay under someone's mini shop by the pier. The birds had fled a while ago, the beach's waves were getting harsh, the calm had left the morning. I quickly took shelter under a tree near by, all while the rain poured on to the wet sand and the paved path. The pitter patter was loud now that the storm was overhead. Shit! Shit!

 

"Out on a stroll I see." I turned around startled. Josh. He stood there soaking wet. His dyed hair damp against his forehead. He had a cheeky smile on his face. Why?

 

"Perhaps," I teased. "You're soaking wet, didn't you see the forecast before you left?" He chuckled at that. Funny, I didn't even check the forecast myself. I looked him up and down without noticing. His shorts and sweater hinted that he was out for a run, and his cheeks were slightly pink, although if it was from the exercise or the cold, I couldn't tell. All I could think about is the green shirt peaking out from underneath the sweater's zipper. He looks good in green. That and his lips.They seemed soft, rosy. He had a lip ring. I didn't notice that the first time I meet him.

 

"Yes I did, but I thought I'd be home before it rained but I got distracted." He leaned against the tree running his hand against his wet hair, glancing at me briefly from the corner of his eyes. Now he was just being mean.

 

"Here," I took my hoodie off and handed it over to him. "Try not to get hypothermia next time." I smiled at him, he looked at my hand holding my hoodie.

 

"No I cant take it, when the rain stops I'll just run home," he waved my arm away.

 

"You're kidding?! You're gonna die and I'll have to say 'I told you so' during your funeral." I laughed at my own prediction. He wouldn't really die he'll just get sick and regret not taking my hoodie. "Just take it," I brought it closer to his face.

 

"Fine, I'll give it back I promise." He grabbed it from my hands. His fingers brushed mine for a second and my heart did a summersault in my chest. I gaped as he took off his sweater and put mine on. I might as well have just fainted right then and there. It suit him more than me. It wasn't one of my favourite hoodies anyways.

 

"No need, keep it." I smirked at him.

 

We stood under the tree for a few minutes. Small chitchat nothing more. Turns out Josh has a dog, well it's technically Samuel's dog but they're roommates so it's also Josh's dog. If that makes sense. I couldn't stop staring at him. It pissed me off how I couldn't control myself. Whenever I looked away to the sea I could feel his gaze on me, sending goosebumps to my arms. Or was it the cold misty wind of the storm that sent those goosebumps? Either way he didn't stop staring either. We ended up sitting down on the soil. Josh wasn't wet anymore, I could tell he was a little cold though. He had his soaked sweater over his legs. The rain was still hitting hard on the sand, the pavement of the path and the leafs of the tree. It drove me crazy how I couldn't sit comfortably, because if I did I'd be too close to him. I didn't know if he was comfortable either. He had this focused look on his face half the time. I wondered what he was thinking. I couldn't possibly know even if he told me; I wouldn't know if he was lying or not. I might as well say I've been mesmerized by him. Who wouldn't. And this thought scares me because I barely even knew him. Who knows, he might be an axe murderer or a fucking pedophile. I highly doubt that though, he doesn't seem like the type to murder someone.

 

Turns out I've been staring at Josh for a while. I don't think he noticed either. It was comfortable sitting in silence with him. That thought was even scarier because that didn't happen with me and people. I was constantly trying to fill the silence. I looked down at my feet ashamed, "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare."

 

"Don't be, I'm guilty of it too." We both laughed. I had been drowning in my own thoughts I didn't notice him staring too. The rain was starting to calm down, the sun starting to shine through the clouds. Josh stood up shaking the dirt off his shorts. He swings his sweater over his shoulder and smiles.

 

"Guess it's my time to leave, I've got things to do. Nice seeing you Tyler, see you Thursday." He smiled at me one more time. I could never get tired of his smile. Never.

 

"Yeah, for sure." I stood up to wave goodbye at him as he jogged away, wearing my hoodie. "See you Thursday," I repeated his words quietly. I spun in my spot baffled. Shit. What am I going to do with myself now.

 


	3. Dead Night

September 7, 2017

12:37pm   
I had finished all my morning classes. The day went slow. The closer it got to 1pm I could feel myself get anxious for no good reason. It was Thursday today which means there's MKC (mario kart club) I've been looking forward to this day since that Friday in the rain. I didn't know if it was because Josh was going to be there, I didn't know if it was because I was just genuinely curious of the club. I was holding onto the club's pamphlet shaking, maybe even sweating. Second floor, room E7. I wasn't ready at all. I have never joined a club in my life. That might be a stretch though. I've been sleep deprived since Monday, I couldn't get myself to sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about this day the thought made me terrified. I haven't slept in days, I look like shit, and on top of that I'm also homesick I barely have eaten. 

Today was actually hot, typical California weather. It had rained all weekend, even Billie didn't want to go out. People seemed happy walking along the streets in such nice weather today. Jenna had called me earlier this morning to see how I was doing. How are your classes? she'd ask in such monotone voice I didn't recognize her at first. I replied with the same tone, I said they were fun and that I've met a few people. Then after few minutes of small talk she'd hung up leaving me to drown in the silence of the apartment. Why did she call me?Maybe she felt pity for me. Or maybe she wanted to catch up on a few things,  it's not like she cared at all. 

The door to the computer lab was slightly open, I knocked on it while opening. I was greeted with cheers from people in the far couch facing a wide screen TV placed on the wall to the left of the room. I walked in shutting the door behind me. There were tables with computers and rolling chairs assigned to each computer, a few posters about staying focused and some art works made by students of previous years. The lab was typically small, it looked more like a closet compared to the other ones downstairs. I shuffled over to the couch where everyone else was. There were just about ten people here, including Josh and Sam. Josh was sitting on a bean bag in the corner, he looked pissed. I wonder who put a stick up his ass. Sam looked up from his phone and gave me wide smile. Telling me to sit next to him.

"Bro, thought you wouldn't come." He punched me in the arm playfully after I had sat down. The dude sitting on the floor looked up from the screen towards me.

"We haven't had anyone new in a while, glad you're here," he said dropping the controller. "Names Nathan," he smiled at me. I smiled back.

Sam stood up rubbing his hands together moving into the middle on the room standing on a chair, waving his hands to get our attention. "Friends, welcome back. It has been a while since I've seen you all. We rarely get newcomers but this year our sales strategy has worked." The room laughed at his little 'speech' he was giving. "So let me introduce Tyler." He waved at me to stand next to him. I did. I looked around. They all looked interested into what I had to say. I didn't say much. I just said hi and waved . What was I supposed to do, expose my entire tragic life story? Too soon. I glanced over to Josh, he had this gaze on me that didn't leave, it sent chills down my spine. No one else seemed to notice the look he had on me, not even sam. He knew what he was doing to me, with that glare; with those eyes; with those lips. Still rude of him to do that. I'm so gay. Stop.

We must have played at least twenty rounds until it finally got to the two contestants. Me and the one and only Josh. He was pretty good at MK himself, he said he's been playing since a young age just like me. He didn't brag about his skills like I expected him to, he stayed humble throughout. When the second lap came around we threw in some insults to spice the round. We were inches away from the screen, my eyes would burn off if I stayed fixed on it any longer. One lap left to go, half the people in the room were sweating, screaming at me and josh. I was shaking, my hands almost slipping off the controller. This wasn't nerve wracking at all. If I were to loose, my reputation would go down. Not like I cared but being seen as the champion on my first day here would be nice. Josh was tailing me, I was literally fucking screaming at this point. I didn't want to let him win.

So I won. It wasn't so simple after all. He was inches away from winning to. I was lucky enough to have one more mushroom left to give me a boost. 

I crossed the finish line, threw the controller onto the ground jumping to my feet. "FUCKING TAKE THAT BITCH!" I screamed in joy at Josh's face. I felt like I was a child winning against the games greatest boss. Josh looked utterly disappointed at the results of the game but completely amused at the same time. He had this cute smile on his face.

Josh held his hands up in surrender. "Good game, good game. I'll have to admit that much." He chuckled. I gave a hand out to Josh to help him up off the floor. He took it gladly. I didn't expect his hands to be so smooth but firm at the same time; also so gentle to the touch. I think I just described a yogurt instead of hands.

"Fuck guys it's three already, we got to move out or we finna get kicked out." James, this guy wearing a beanie on top of the couch said to warn us. Everyone grabbed their shit and helped put away the console in the tiny room by what seemed a teacher's desk. We all awkwardly huddled to say goodbye. 

"Oh yeah, Jordan is hosting a party tomorrow," Josh said scratching the back of his neck. "It's kind of like a year starter party? I don't know my brother is crazy sometimes." He shrugged his shoulders. 

"Dude what do you mean crazy, that's an amazing idea!" Sam almost screamed.

"Amazing idea coming from his little brother," James joked around. 

"Just make sure it's not a flop and I'll show up, I might have to carpool with someone," Sam replied while the others agreed on the carpool idea. I didn't feel like going to a party so early in the year. I didn't know who would take me there. I don't even know where he lives. 

"Just let me know beforehand who's going and who's not." Josh said hesitantly. I didnt know how to ask him where he lived, it's kind of a broad question. Right?

I had two classes left today. I had planned to think about the party, bringing Billie could be a good idea; she could take care of me if I do end up drinking too much. It might end up being me taking care of Billie in the end. Either outcome I'm fine with. I decided to stay in the computer lab to wait for my next class, I guess Josh did too. 

"So, are you coming to the party," Josh approached me his hands behind his back. He was nervous. I could tell from the slight glancing he was giving to the floor and the slight rocking back and forth on his feet.

"I don't know yet, there's no one to take me." I looked up from the book I was reading. Maybe he could take me, that's a stretch though. 

"Maybe I could take you." He said it as a statement not a question. He's a mind reader. Josh held a gaze on me waiting for me to answer. I didn't know how to respond. My words kept getting caught in the web of my throat.

"I don't think I have a choice do I?"  I managed to speak. I placed the book onto the wooden desk I was leaning on. 

"I guess you don't." He gave a goofy smile. "I'll pick you up around five in front of  Jackie's, it's the small coffee shop down by the pier." He was holding himself up with one hand on the wooden desk staring at me with the widest smile. I don't think it could get any wider. Our little rendezvous had ended by the slight hum of a phone ringing. I guess it was his since he started to fiddle around him jeans pockets for his phone. He gave an apologetic smile as he grabbed his bag and hurried out the computer lab. Once he left I let go of this breath I didn't know I was holding. Josh is something.

I headed out the lab myself so I can start walking to my next class. As I was retrieving my book from the desk it sat on, a small slip of paper fell out of the book. It wasn't my book mark at all. I went to reach for the paper. It might just be trash that managed to get into my book. I looked at the little paper in my hand. It had something written on it. 

'Don't forget: 628-707-7420    
Call me if you need anything ;)'

I laughed to myself. I didn't even notice him sliding the note into my book before he had left. Fun games Joshua, fun games. 

September 8, 2017

5:15pm   
It was finally the end of the week. The party was starting in a few hours, I didn't know if I should be exited or scared. The last major party I had attended to I knew everyone there, this one was going to be a bit different. No shit. 

Billie decided to stay at home, she wasn't in the mood to go a uni party. It's odd of her not to go. I mean that's what she does half the time. I didn't bother to ask her why she wouldn't come, she had already cuddled into the edges of her bed sheets. 

Jackie's, the coffee shop; was crowded with business women and men having small after work coffees, some university students scattered throughout the small shop. Some listening to music while working on essays, some just relaxing is the short amount of time they have. I wondered how their life's were. Did they have family? Were they close with them? What's their a major? Where do they come from? What's their story? I sat in the shop making up littles stories of those people in my head. Taking in the their actions to decipher their lives. The smallest movement could reveal so much about someone, it's kinda scary. 

My thoughts wondered off for a while, taking paths through my mind I didn't know existed. The atmosphere of the coffee shop seemed to trigger this nostalgic feeling in me which made me feel like I was back in Ohio. Sitting in the small rounded table by the window I stared at people leaving and entering the coffee shop, getting distracted by their lives once again. 

The sound of a chair moving against the wooden floor of the shop snapped me back to the reality I lived and breathed. Startled I looked up at who decided to sit in the chair in front of me, lo and behold it was Josh. His vibrant yellow hair sticking out of his backwards hat. He was wearing my hoodie, the one I gave him to borrow on that rainy Friday of last week. How romantic of him. The sleeves of the hoodie rolled up to his elbows exposing the skin of his arms, and a tattoo? He has a tattoo? I have some myself but I never notice the masterpiece on his arm.

I must have been staring too long at him since he resorted to snapping his fingers in front of my face as if to awaken me from my trance. "Hey, dude." 

"Sorry sorry," I said shyly shifting in my chair. 

"Are you ready to go?" He enthusiastically placed both his hand on the table pushing him self up. I guess this was my cue to get up as well. 

"Yep, ready to go," I gathered my belonging and we headed out the small coffee shop to his car. 2017 Chevrolet Cruze in black, not a bad car if I say so myself. We got into the car and headed off to Josh's house for the party. 

5:35pm   
We had been driving for about 20 minutes. Josh had said they were holding the party in their huge cottage north of San Francisco by the beach. I didn't bother to remember the name of the small town. The town was an hour away, I never signed up for a long drive with a so called stranger. I didn't mind since we held pretty long conversations about literally anything we could come up with. 

"A beach party?" I had asked. The topic of the party came up. 

"Didn't anyone tell you?" Josh held a confused face at me, still keeping an eye on the road. 

"Does it look like anyone did. I thought I'd be going to city party to get drunk off my ass and drown in the pool of said persons house." I lazily rested my head against the window. Josh chuckled at my slight sarcasm. 

"Who said you can't get drunk? All I know is I'm getting hammered." 

"Oh really? Then who is driving me home then?" I raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Yeah I didn't really think about that." He paused. "Maybe I shouldn't get hammered after all." We ended our conversation there. 

The slight hum of the rolling wheels against the asphalt sent me into a quiet trance, staring out the window. The sun was starting to set in the distance. The landscape of California has stayed flat throughout, just a few gas stations here and there. Josh and I decided to stop on the next one we see. It's been about another twenty minutes since we last spoke. There was nothing to be said, I had thought so. There were so many things I wanted to know about Josh but I never could bring myself to speak up. 

We pulled up to a small slightly run down gas station. The sign of the gas station lit a dim round light around the pumps. Josh got out of the car to fill the car. He said I could go inside to see if I wanted anything. I got out of the car giving Josh a small smile. I walked up to the little convenience store in front of the gas pumps. The small bell dinged as I opened the door, cold air wrapping around me. The guy behind the counter shot up from his sleep. "How may I help you?" He asked with tiered eyes.

"Um.. I'll get two red bulls. Original" I pointed to the little mini fridge behind the guy. There's was ding from the door again as Josh walked in, a wallet in his hands. 

"Add pump number 3 on that too." Josh said taking out a twenty out of his pocket. The cashier handed me the two red bulls and took the twenty from Josh.  We left the tiny store back to Josh's car. "Red bull? Hm. How did you know?" Josh looked at me with a wide smirk on his face. 

"I didn't. Both of them were for me." I said seriously. The smirk on his face dropped, he pulled the most disappointed look I've ever seen. The funny thing is they were actually both for me. We both started laughing, gasping for air. "Bro don't be so bummed out, here." I handed him the second red bull. Josh was still slightly laughing his hazel eyes creasing in the corners. 

After we had both calmed down we got into the car and headed back into the road. Houses were starting to show up hinting that we had little to go. We stopped at the first red light we had since we left. 

"Tell me about you Tyler," Josh looked over to me clearly curious. 

"There's nothing to know, I'm not so special." I frowned leaning back on to the seat.

"Aw come on, there has to be something I could learn about you." He punched my shoulder playfully. I grunted as I straightened my self in my seat. 

"Are you sure?" I asked as a final warning. He nodded his head. "Okay, well. I'm Tyler Robert Joseph born and raised in Ohio. I'm 19 in December. I play the piano and horribly sing. My dad wanted me to become a lawyer but I rebelled and became a photographer. I hate the word moist. I'm probably addicted to red bull and I broke up with the love of my life to move states and study art." I gasped for air, I think I said that all in one breath. And that wasn't all of the story, I skipped so much. 

"Wow Mr. Joseph, I thought you were just another boring white rich kid." Josh commented. 

"I get that a lot." I muttered. "Your turn." I turned to Josh enthusiastically.

"Haha, well. I'm Joshua William Dun. Coincidentally I was raised and born in Ohio too. I play the drums as a hobby. I love grilled cheese sandwiches. Ketchup is spicy. I quit my job in my moms family business to become a 3D character designer. And I have a dog named Jim." He paused thinking. "Oh yeah, I'm 20." He smiled in my direction. 

"Ketchup is not fucking spicy first of all, second of all you're from Ohio?" My eyes widened at his small introduction. He's from Ohio too? That's so weird. 

"Yeah, I haven't met anyone from Ohio here in San Fran." He chuckled, taking a left onto a gravel road. Huge houses popping up next to a large forested area. 

"Yeah me neither." I said sounding a bit quiet. I stared in awe to what laid out the window of the moving car. The houses were gorgeous, paved paths with bushes that were scattered with flowers. 

Josh pulled up to this one house. So much for calling it a cottage. The house was smaller than the other houses on the street, it still was a big house compared to the ones closer to the city. The entrance was large with white marble columns holding up a balcony on the higher floor. The door was of dark oak like wood with golden door knobs. I didn't know Josh would be filthy rich. 

"Holy shit bro." I got out of the car shutting the door behind me. "I never thought you'd be rich, what the fuck?" I whisper yelled looking at Josh. He had a smirk creeping on his lips. 

Clearly there were people inside, purple and green lights shone through the pane windows of the house. I could hear the loud music from out here, I think they were playing some Kendrick Lamar or something along those lines. I was not ready for this. I literally was shaking on the spot. Parties aren't my thing but you got to do what you got to do. 

Fucking shit. Josh opened the door to the 'cottage' revealing a large mob of people already grinding up on each other, sweaty people making out on one corner, this one kid drinking water out of a fish tank? This wasn't anything like a party I've been to before. 

"SUp dudeeees!" Sam came out of nowhere drunk as fuck. He smack me on the back and gave the biggest hug to Josh. Wow I don't get a hug?

"Hi Sam, I see your having fun huh?" Josh was on the verge of laughing at the sight of Sam being drunk. I myself was already laughing. 

"Yeeeaah dude, come on in we got them hoes and drinks!" Sam shouted a little to loud. He just left, he left without context back into the crowd of people. 

"Come on, I'll show you to the bar first." Josh whispered into my ears while guiding me to the kitchen bar with his hands on my shoulders. It send shivers down my entire body as he gripped onto my shoulders making sure not to be pushed by the other  sweaty people in the crowd. 

The kitchen bar what crowded with people talking to their friends and peers probably about dumb shit since half of them where drunk or high. Josh let go of my shoulders as he excitedly walked over to the fridge to get us some beers. I stood there awkwardly against the counter on the other side of the bar. Josh came back holding two beer cans in his hands. He gave me a concerned look. 

"Hey man we're here to relax, take our minds off of the oncoming year. Got it?" He shoved the beer can to my chest then proceeding to open his own.

"I'll try my best." I gave him a fake smile. I took a big chug of my beer wiping away the excess off my lips. 

"Come on I have a surprise for you upstairs." Josh wiggled his eyebrows grabbing onto my wrist and pulling me up the stairs. This entire situation is weird as shit. I'm at someone's random party with a 'friend'. I don't even know anymore, maybe I should just chill and have fun for once. 

Okay fine. I'll have fun


	4. Tiled Wall

Friday  
Time unknown.

"NO!" I screamed as Josh struggled to push me into the bathroom. "IM NOT FUCKING DOING WEED." I gave up, stumbling into the bathroom tripping on the rug beneath my feet. 

"Shhh, shut up. People might hear." Josh hesitated shutting the bathroom door. There were two dudes in the bathtub. The small purple lamp on the bathroom counter giving of a purple vibe around the dark room. The light reflected against the white tiles of the walls making it seem gloomy with the smoke. The bathroom reeked of weed, I almost coughed out my lungs. 

"Joshieee,  I see you've brought a friend." The dude with the blunt in his hand winked towards Josh. 

"Jordan, what the fuck. This isn't the weed bathroom. We specifically said that the weed bathroom was downstairs! You fucking planned this party, retard." Jordan chuckled childishly as Josh pulled him out of the bathtub, helping him up to his feet. The other dude who was next to Jordan (i think it was James from the club? I couldn't tell it was too dark) stumbled out of the bathtub and fumbled his way out of the bathroom with Jordan. Josh shut the door again looking at me with a relieved face, that face turned into a mischievous smirk. 

"I'm not doing weed." I blurted out putting my hands up in defence. Josh didn't say anything. All he did was walk closer to me. My hands fell to the side as Josh got closer to me. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest I could barely hear the blaring music behind the door. He stopped walking once he was inches away from my face. He looked down at my eyes then down to my lips. I shivered at his stare. I didn't know what the fuck was going on, I could feel my cheeks start to flush. Then his hand reached past my head to open the mirror cabinet behind me. Josh grabbed a box and then handed it over to me. What the actual fuck? I was internally screaming. 

"So this is the surprise?" I raised an eyebrow at him completely confused. He just stood there nodding his head. I wish I new what ever this man was thinking. "And what makes you think I deserve this surprise," I gave a half laugh as I fiddled with the tape around the box. Inside the box laid a Polaroid camera. Not just any Polaroid camera. A Fucking Polaroid original 600 camera. My eyes grew wide almost popping out of my head, my mouth fell wide open. 

"I found it laying around in my dads old garage, since you said you were a photographer I thought I should give it to you, I have no use for it." Josh gave me a wide smile as he went to go sit on the closed toilet. 

"No fucking way! NO FUCKING WAY. These things are like 100 bucks dude. Plus you don't find these laying around in someone's garage?! I cant take this." I tried to give him back the box with the camera but he pushed it back into my arms. 

"Come on, take it as an early birthday present."

"I don't deserve this Josh." I gave up and sat on the counter staring at the camera in my hands in awe.

"I know a good person when I see one Tyler. You deserve it."

"Wait why would you keep it in the bathroom cabinet?" I raised an eyebrow. 

"Long story short, my brother is a sneaky ass bitch that takes all my things so this is the safest place I could think of." 

"Weird." I chuckled. I looked around the bathroom. The lighting was perfectly shining against Josh's body, defining the features on his face with the purple shadows. I made sure the camera had film in it before I took a quick picture of Josh sitting there. Click 

The flash lit up the room catching Josh's attention. He looked at me with a shocked face, he stood up and ran towards me trying to grab the film coming out of the camera before me. "You fucker! You did not just take that!" He whisper yelled at me, as mad as he was he couldn't help but laugh a little. I was laughing at Josh trying to reach the camera above my head. Since I was on the counter I had a bit of an advantage even when Josh was taller. 

"Yes I did!!! You're gonna break the fucking camera bitch!" We were both struggling to keep the camera in our grasps. My arm was way over my head, that was a bad idea since Josh started to tickle me. I crunched up on the counter laughing my ass off as Josh continued to tickle me. 

"You better fucking throw that picture away!" Josh was laughing as well, I was gasping for air. Laughing for this long started to hurt my abs. 

"I CANT FUCKING BREATH" He was still tickling me. "THIS IS HARASSMENT, IM CALLING MY LAWYER." And with that said Josh stopped, placing a hand on his own chest to take a breath. We were both still laughing so loud people outside in the hallway could probably hear us. We looked at each other. Him an I were dangerously close, I could feel his breath on my lips. We were both panting as if we just ran ten miles without stopping. 

"That's was fun." Josh breathed keeping eye contact with me. 

"Yeah, but I'm keeping the picture." I shoved the Polaroid into my pocket so it could develop properly.

"No you're not keeping that," 

"Make me." I whispered. 

"Oh really?" Josh narrowed his eyes at me with question. 

I could make out every detail on his face even in this dark purple lit bathroom, from his small tiny specks of freckles on his nose to the chocolate brown spots in his hazel eyes. 

Then he kissed me.

As soon as Josh's lips were on mine my eyes shot open, so did his as if he were surprised with himself. We both new it was going to happen but we didn't actually expect it to happen. 

He didn't pull away.

And neither did I. 

Josh's eyes slowly fluttered shut. Mine became heavier, then closed, as if their own will. My heart was racing in excitement and curiosity. The last time I've even felt like this was so so long ago. 

Josh moved in-between my legs, placing his hands on my hips. His lips moved slowly, tentatively as if he was scared I was going to pull away any second. 

The truth is I had no intentions of pulling away. 

I let go of the camera onto the counter, emptying my hands. With that I placed my hands on his face so I could bring him closer to deepen the kiss. 

For Josh that must have been a green light since he stopped being careful altogether. He kissed me senseless, leaving me dizzy and only hoping I could keep up. His tongue traced my bottom lip in a way that drove me absolutely insane. He let go of my waist and pulled me by my thighs closer so that our bodies were now completely touching. No space left at all.

I couldn't help it. I ran my hands through Josh's hair and roughly tugged. Josh let out a gasp, I took the opportunity to shove my tongue into his mouth. I didn't know why I was suddenly starting to play rough on Josh. Something came over me in that moment and I forgot what self control was.

I felt a shiver run down my back as Josh ran his hand down my chest, resting his fingers on the hem of my black jeans. I wanted him closer; I wanted to feel him more, but we couldn't get any closer.

We kissed hungrily, as if our lives depended on it. Josh sucked and nibbles at my lower lip. Pulling it between his teeth and forcing a soft moan out of me. I slowly pulled our lowers half's together so we could be even closer. 

Josh moaned at the contact, then gasped when I pulled away from his lips and moved down to his neck. His hands entangled themselves into my hair as I kissed down his neck until he let out a hum and I new I had found his soft spot. I was so entranced in the heated situation, I didn't notice the sudden change of the muffled music as the door swung open.  

Josh backed up from me to the far wall trying to calm himself down. I pulled my knees to my chest as fast as I could, trying to hide my obvious red flaming cheeks. I was covering my mouth with my hands trying not to laugh my ass off at the fact that I ,Tyler Joseph was almost caught making out; rather intimately, with Joshua dun. Who I don't even know that very well, also I don't even know if he's even gay, or bisexual, or pansexual, or - you get the message. 

"Josh, we have a situation downstairs." It was Sam who opened the door, he was terrified. Josh's expression completely changed, he was serious now. Josh jogged out of the bathroom and headed downstairs. I followed. What in the fuck could make Sam and Josh this scared?

I tried not to think of what happened in the bathroom. That definitely didn't happen. I couldn't help it.


	5. Family Buisness

I sat on the counter of the purple lit bathroom, a hand over my mouth. I had never thought in my eighteen years of life I would feel like this. I mean, I had my fair share of make outs throughout my life, but none of them made me feel so blissful but so troubled at the same time. All these thoughts made me completely forget about the reason why Josh had left me here. I got to my feet, leaving the bathroom and forgetting it's purple walls as I passed the halls headed to the heated crowds in the living room.

The grinding of people and their sweaty bodies dancing with the music made me nauseous and made me feel heavy . I tried my best to push past the people, while keeping an eye out for Josh. Where did he go? 

Right when I thought of that, a loud crash came from the small room by the patio outside. Everyone seemed to stop, scared and nervous at the sound. I kept pushing my way through to get to the living room. The shards of a broken a flower pot were scattered across the hard wood floor. I looked up from the shards to see what I didn't want to see. Josh was pinning down a guy, blood trickling down his chin. 

"Hey! What the fuck?!" I yelled at them. They turned their heads towards me. A sudden wave of utter fear washed over me.

I felt someone pull me back into the crowd of people, holding my arm. Sam was holding me back. I looked around us, everyone was gathered around the fight eagerly clasping the beers in their hands.

"Tyler step back let them handle this themselve-" Sam didn't get to finish his sentence. The guy had managed to get Josh to his feet slamming him into a nearby wall making josh stumble to his knees. Loud cheers emitted from the crowd. 

"What the fuck is going on Sam?!" I desperately asked. 

"Non of your fucking business just go!" Sam sort of  yell-whispered, guiding me back to the mass of grinding bodies. The loud obnoxious music still blaring through the speakers. 

I couldn't get my eyes off of Josh, I seriously had zero clue to what was going on but every atom in me was telling me to help, to get Josh out of this situation. How could I do that? I don't fucking know. Last time I fought someone I left with a broken arm. But the last thing I was gonna do is just stand and watch. 

"Why'd you come here Aden, I told you to stay away from my family," Josh wiped the blood from his mouth, standing to his feet. Everyone fell quiet as Josh spoke, I turned my gaze towards them.

"Oh poor Joshie can't protect his family anymore how pathetic." Aden just laughed, mocking Josh's threat. This is serious. 

Josh threw a punch at Aden, tugging at his shirt to lift him off the ground. 

"I'll fuck you up Aden. It's not your first time." Josh's voice was low. His eyes never leaving his. 

I looked at Sam dead in the eye, the grip he had on my arm was starting to burn. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into Tyler." Sam hissed at me. 

"I can't just let them beat each other up." I yanked my hand out of his grip and stumbled into the open. "Hey guys come on can't you just enjoy the party." I slightly slurred my words sounding drunk. My heart raced. When did I get so hammered?

Josh's face was priceless, his furrowed brows dawning on me. He looked as if he wanted to choke me and rip my spleen out. Not that I would mind. On the other hand Aden didn't look so fond of my intrusion to their little game. 

"Now who is this that we have here?" There was slight interest in his voice. He rose from the floor pushing Josh aside. Josh couldn't get up, his face bled onto the floor. "Seems that Josh got a new fag to throw around." Silence is all I heard. Had I stayed back and watched, non of this would have happened. My hands started to shake. Every little word that had come out of his mouth shook me. Fag. What an awful word. 

"Aden. Leave. Him. Alone. He is none of your business." Josh had gotten himself up to his feet.

"None of my business? Cousin, this is the very thing I came for."

"What are you talking about?" 

A cheeky smile arose to Aden's face, forgetting about Josh, he walked over to where I was standing. I was shaking, probably sweating profusely through my pores. 

"I have heard a lot about you Tyler." Aden was wearing a suit and his hair was slicked back with gel, odd for the occasion. He fixed his colar and folded his sleeves, still keeping a gaze on me.

"What?" I spat. 

He punched me. Left swing to the right side of my face. I gasped. My cheek hurt, my eye ached, my lip bled. My vision blurred, all I saw was little specks of light. 

Next thing I know I'm on the floor. My vision was blurry and I could feel blood dripping down my neck. But before I could get up my world turned upside down and I couldn't breathe. A part of my brain registered Aden's laughter as he kicked me in my ribs. But all I saw was Josh behind him - a slight wince, the struggle to get to me, a moment stopped in time. I wanted to get up but my limbs wouldn't listen. I am shouting inside my brain as I see Aden turn on Josh, kicking him in the face, a sickening crunch I felt deep within me. He must think I'm unconscious. Well, tough luck. 

I blank in and out of darkness as I force myself to get up. I have to hold on to my stomach to keep myself upright. I am unsteady on my feet, but as Sam tried to put an arm around my shoulders and drag me out of the pit I pushed him aside with all I've got. Aden is now mercilessly slamming his foot down into Josh's side. Shit. I have to get to him. 

Aden is so caught up in the crowds amusement to the fight that he didn't notice the right hook I aimed at his head. My fist hit him with more force than I expected. I felt my knuckles split open under the impact, my body being carried forward following the swing, pushing Aden to the floor and away from Josh. I thank all the beings of the universe as I fall beside Josh and cradle his head. I look at Sam pointedly and this was all the signs he needed to come to his side. We lift Josh's bleeding body from the floor. My shirt is stained red with his blood and my own. The crowd parted around us and engulfed Aden before he can get off the floor. 

"Let me walk." That's all Josh said when we got out of the house going towards his car. Sam ignored him and opened the car door and let josh lay in the back of the car next to me. Sam closed the door and stayed outside. There's was a slight silence in the car, just our breaths and my pounding headache. 

I shifted in my seat, wincing in pain. Every time I breathed it felt as if steel nails where stabbing my chest. I leaned my back against the window trying to focus on something else other than the stabbing pain. To my surprise, Josh got out of the car closing the car door. From what I could see, he wasn't in any pain, although he might just be faking it. His black eye and swollen cheek was visible in the dark moonlight. Josh was arguing with Sam, I could hear their faint shouts from outside. I didn't bother straining my eyes to pay attention to what they were arguing about. I closed my eyes for a second, feeling nauseous, I wanted to throw up. Everything hurt. 

I hadn't noticed I blacked out until I heard the car door open the slam close. I fluttered my eyes open to see a concerned Josh in-front of me. I tried sitting up but I couldn't move my body, I winced squinting my eyes. 

"Hey hey, here let me help you." Josh's voice was soft, the sound of his voice might just cure every bruise and cut on my body. His arm wrapped around my waist. I almost screamed at the sudden touch of his hand against my side. 

"Fuck," I managed to breath. Aden really fucked me up didn't he. 

"I'm sorry I'm sorry." Josh kept whispering those two words over and over again. He took a breath in and out. "I never wanted you to get hurt." I couldn't say anything, my shallow breaths drawing Josh's attention. "Let's try this again." Instead of wrapping his arm around my waist as he did last time, he put his arm under my armpit and pulling me up like a child. I winced and shook under his touch. 

"We need to leave." My voice came out rough and strained. "You might as well drive me to the hospital." 

"Let me see first." He looked down at my check then looked back up to my eyes, I allowed him to lift up my blood stained shirt. I winched for the hundredth time. "Shit." He let out a soft breath. I figured I was all purple and bloody, considering Josh's reaction.   
"I want you to breath in for me, tell me where it hurst the most."

I did as he said, I took a deep breath in. I stopped half way as an aching pain stabbed my lower rib. This time I let out a painful groan. "The right one, my right rib. Hurts like a fucking bitch." I was gasping for air. 

"Okay. Now, I want you to try your best to move around, maybe evem stretch your neck a bit. And again tell me where it hurst." His soft voice once again calming me. 

Honestly I couldn't move, every ounce in me stayed still. But Josh's concentrated face on me somewhat motivated me. I started with my neck, looking to one side to another. It felt good to move, I felt stiff from getting hit a bunch of times. There was no pain. I tried sitting up properly. Then that's when my entire body almost collapsed into Josh's lap. I couldn't hold my tears from spilling out. I couldn't possibly describe my pain. Everything, just everything felt like Aden was still slamming his foot against my body. Josh didn't hesitate to cup my face and wipe the solo tears streaming down my face. He looked so guilty even though he knew it wasn't his fault. "I feel like a sack of potatoes." I let out a painful laugh. Josh chuckled, glad I brought light into the situation. 

"Seems like you have a bruised rib. We'll have to stop somewhere to get you some painkillers and I've to stop the swelling. And don't worry you don't need to go to the hospital" 

"That's not fun."

"Let's just get you the painkillers and I'll explain more later." He placed a hand on my lap, flashed me a soft smile and climbs out of the car and walks around to the drivers side. "Try to stay awake I don't want you passing out on me." 

Well let's just say I did. 

The bright LED light blinded me as I woke up in the backseat of Josh's car. The radio played a song I couldn't recognized. I felt a bit better after the nap I shouldn't have taken. With the little energy I had left I managed to get my self up and open the car door. Everything still hurt maybe even more but, I've gotten used to the pain a bit. Ironically, everything to me was bright even though the sky was pitch black. I looked around me to find myself in a gas station, the same one we stopped at before arriving to the party. The door to the convenience store swung open grabbing my attention. I strained my eyes to focus on who it was. Josh had come out juggling a bottle of pills and plastic bag wrapped around his hand. He noticed that I was out of the car and ran to me. 

"Hey hey hey, why are you out of the car?" He placed the plastic bag on the floor and placed a hand on my shoulder, looking me in the eye. He was concerned, I noticed the corners of his eyes wrinkled and his eyebrows were furrowed. 

"I have to move some time." I had to chuckled. The shock of being beat up had worn off now. I think I'm back to my normal self. Hopefully 

"Yes you're right, sorry. Here take two of these then take them again once every two hours, I don't want you overdosing here." He picked up the plastic bag up off the floor and took out a bottle of water and handed it to me, he then opened the bottle of Advil and poured two pills out onto his palm.

I took the water bottle gladly taking a big gulp of water. I regretted that instantly as it hurt to swallow.   
"You'll have to take these either way." Josh handed me the pills. I looked at them in my hand as they looked familiar, I hesitated. I took one at a time, each time wincing in pain as the pill scraped the back of my throat as I swallowed. I turned to josh who was now leaning against the car.

flip, flip 

He was flipping a coin in his hand. The sound of his nail hitting against the metal rung in my ears. It didn't look like any ordinary coin to me. It was flatter and wider in width. The coin reflected the LED light, sparkling like a star. 

"What is that?" I asked sounding dumb.

"It's a car wash coin." He let out a deep breath. He looked at the coin in his hand and gripped it, hiding it in his palm.

"Doesn't look like a car wash coin to me." 

"If you insist." He flipped it again. "It is what holds my family so high up their own asses they themselves don't even know what got to them." Silence.

"I don't seem to understand." He's probably joking.

"6.60 grams." He paused. " 1,269.70 dollars." He placed the coin on the roof of the car with a small clank. I was confused, what is he even saying. Then I realized. Gold. 

"Is that why he came, is that why he almost killed the both of us?" I tried to steady my breath.

"Yes. And for many other reasons. So you should probably keep your distance."

He would not meet my eyes, not even as I pushed myself away from the car door wincing, closer to where he was standing shaking slightly against the cold air. 

"What are you saying?" 

I reached for him but he took a step back. Too quickly almost, and my heart started beating really fast. What is he doing?

"Josh?"

"My family- the whole lot...It's too dangerous ok?" He snapped. He wouldn't let me near him, he stood like he was a bomb about to go off, all hunched shoulders and his face screwed into a grimace I wanted to kiss off of his face. He should never look like this. Not ever.

"Josh it's ok, really let's just-"

"Okay? you almost got put in the hospital by my cousin or that I could have gotten knocked out and left you with that son of a bitch?"  
He paced back and forth now and I was getting angry. 

"I'm capable enough of protecting myself."

"Not against these people, you're not," he walked up to me, so close that I could almost count all the freckles dusting his cheeks. My breath catches despite myself. Even now when we are fighting I think I'm falling in love with him.   
The thought makes me sick.   
This isn't going to work is it?  
I could feel his breath on my face, and he is just as angry as I am.

He poked a finger at my chest, hard enough that it hurt, before grabbing my jacket and pulling me close. I swallowed in pain. My bruised rib pulsing, hurting again despite the pain killers. 

He whispered in my ear, "Stop acting all high and mighty. You can't save me. And you're not a fucking police officer," he pushed me away and I slammed against the car door. Hard.  
"So I suggest you back off."

With that he walked to the driver's side of the car. I felt the cold of the metal sipping into my bones and my brain kept spitting his words at me like some sick masochistic mantra. He did not object when I got into the car. He dod not object to drive me home.   
But I can see clear as day that what we had, it's done.


End file.
